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The future I never wanted

I still remember that day vividly. It was about 10 in the morning when I had read your message. My heartbeat was pulsating with every word forward. I could not hold my breath still. After reading the message, I went numb and my mind froze. Every hopes of future turned into a pitch black oblivion. "Us" was shredded apart to just "you" and "I".

I scurried out from my room towards the balcony. It was raining heavily with restless air swaying the rain. But, my mind was still in shock processing what had become. What it meant for the picture perfect future I had always desired. A gush of wind suddenly sprinkled waterdrops to my face bringing me back to the present. The rain water was expressing what my eyes couldn't. It was like nature trying to put me to ease.

My hand reach for a cigarette in my pocket. I was determined to abstain from nicotine. But, at that moment it didn't matter. The weight of hopelessness was heavier than my resistance. I lit up the cigarette and filled my lungs with every ounce of my misery. And, for a fleeting moment, everything was okay until it was not.

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